Coit, Charles M. (1838-1878) to his family

I am out of stamps. - Camp of 8th Sunday 11th Augt

Dear All,
Recd yours of 6th last night enclosing a V- very carlefsly I did not acknowledge your remittence in last letters $10 & $5 making $20 total - that's entirely sufficient, we hope to be paid off this week or next, six months pay. I commenced this letter in season for todays mail but have been interrupted & it must lie over until tomorrow. Capt Goodrich has been in & we've had one of our long talks about matters & things in general & some things in particular. Capt. G. returned last night he's one of the few who believe in returning to Regiment as soon as they are able for duty. He could have remained at Annapolis on light duty months longer if he had chosen, indeed he found it rather difficult to get away. He has had - no- furlough & he feels rather sore about that particularly as at one time he was assured by the surgeon that it was all made out & he would receive it the next day, so he immediately wrote home that he was coming & for a whole week his wife was expecting him every night. Col. Smith is also back & assumed command to day returning Capt Hoyt to his Co. but the undoubtable Capt has asked permission to be - reported - sick for a few days. I am glad that such a measure of health & strength is is vouchered to me that ever relieving me from command of Regt & returning me to Co. does not affect my constitution. I am too - proud- for any thing like that, - thank the Lord. - The more honest pride a man has the better here. its all called for sometimes. Dont I love to praise my self & at the same time find fault with my superiors. I dont know what kind of a temper is getting possession of me & yet I know that off's whom I disliked pre - vious to this campaign & whom I dont particularly harken after now, I always give a good word for now as I know how faithfully they have served. Time for a Dress Parade. (Brigade Parade) - To be continued in N. Yk. Ledger - Evening - So sorry that Geo. should be again troubled with cold & sore throat, why is not he more careful when he is not strong. Hope he has entirely recovered ere this. How provoking that Mrs. Rowe should serve you so shabbily and you will have so much trouble in finding another place & you seemed so well pleased with that. But perhaps it will all turn out for the best. I think your letter put me out of the question entirely in your decisions for the winter & this brings me back to personalities again. I think I have written you that col. w. is before a military commission of which Genl Ames is president. I was one of the witnesses & after what I have written you in months past I fear if you had heard my testimony (- under oath -) you would have doubted my sanity, either when I wrote or when I testified. My testimony was all in answer to questions put by col. Stevens & referred to col. w. as a military man, (his forte) what battles had we been engaged in & his conduct there. How I considered him as an officer? "Excellent especially in the field, under fire. The coolest man I ever saw, so perfectly self- possessed" &c. How long he had been absent, &c. I acknowledge I put every thing in as favorable a light as possible for I had continually before me the possibility of his discharge & the consequence to the Regt leaving Smith & Hoyt the full control. while I have differed from Col. Ward in many promotions he has made & I think I had good reason some of which I told him, yet I can agree with him respect most of his appointments made by Smith & how vitally the appointments that must soon be made, to fill the vacancies it the line, must effect the Regiment. I refer entirely to appointments as Capts. and Lieuts, not to any thing that would effect me personally. (should I say affect or effect I can tell?) We understand that the order of war Dept refusing to muster out officers who have served lefs than three years in their - present rank-, when their Regts are mustered out, has been referred to Genl Grant & that he has published an order permitting them to leave. I hope it is so, we have not yet received [1] the order.) for an officer who is serving against his will had better be away for the good of the service. If there is any business where men having responsibility should have an interest in their work it surely is this and any thing which tends to degrade the position of an officer injures the service greatly & if Genl Grant has issued this order I believe it's because he takes just this view. You can have no idea of the great & growing dissatisfaction among officers at the present time & it arises from this same cause and this order of the war Dept would have proved one of the last straws on the Camels back. Many enlisted men in the Regts round us have refused Commissions because they preferred to serve one year in the ranks, (their term of service would expire in a year), rather than be holden, as an officer, to three years service. This state of things should not be, I wonder if there was ever another army where an enlisted man would refuse a Commission. I dont believe a case like it can be cited. I am assured that to have the best officers it is all essential that they have the privilege of leaving the service when they desire, even if resignations be tendered in the face of the enemy for surely one who would resign at such a time would surely disgrace himself if he remained & perhaps be the cause of disgrace falling upon his command. Not a day passes but I hear such expressions as these. "I'm going out of the service at such a time honorably or dishonorably." what difference does it make if your discharge is dishonorable, every one who has served in the army will understand it. "Dishonorable discharges have been given with such a lavish hand that the effect is being lost entirely. But how I am running on & what do you care for this as I dont intend to have what ever others may say or do until I can show a clean paper, one that I should be proud to hang up for the world to look at. All these reflections have arisen from Grant's order & why I introduced it is this. I cannot but think that out of the complications at present existing in the Regt of which I have written, circumstances may arise when I shall consider it my duty, in order to preserve my self respect, to avail myself of the Order & now good bye to the order. Lt. DeKay visited us a few days since & took tea with me, He does not recognize the existence of but one man on this hemisphere & that man is Benjamin F. Butler. DK is a perfect gas bag but with all a very clever fellow I judge. His misfortune is that he is on the staff before having served in the line. Speaking of Butler, I like him much. I did not formally, I believe he's the smartest, most able man in the country. I wish you could read as we do his reviews of courts martial & his approval or disapproval of applications &c as we receive them from time to time. I believe (I think my letters with all my beliefs must read like a confession of faith) his biggest - bump- is Justice & the - balances- seem to stand but before you as you read his decisions. He cuts right & left but does not fear to give his reasons. He is severe on officers but I think he has had reason (How does that hinge with what I have written on the other sheet.) I hope never to have a "cause" that I should fear to plead before Ben Butler. In fact I have lately read Partners life & am quite a Butler man. To top off my critique I will remark that great - I- sometimes differ from him but I can - respect- his opinions even then. Butler's canal bids fair to be a success. I hope you will receive this letter early in the morning so that you may be able to finish the reading the same day. Had a Brigade service this A.M. in accordance with the President's proclamation of thanksgiving for our great recent victories. Governor of governors, when we attempt to praise God according to tactics I think its time for Chaplains to cut sticks & travel. I refer to - Brigade - services. Our chaplain still ministers bodily & I presume spiritually at Hospt at Ft. Monroe. I never can esteem him as highly as heretofor for I shall always think that if madame smith had been in Connecticut Mr. Smith would have been with us. You will think me hard perhaps on our sick officers, perhaps I am, I have been greatly blessed & it almost [2] starts the tears to think - how greatly- in that respect, not a days duty lost during this whole terrible campaign. In Mr. Smith's case his duties seem so much lighter than ours that his sickness seems to me almost unexcusable. All the time we were in front of Petersburg he lived at our Quartermasters camp three miles to the rear. He visited us faithfully whenever we were once a day remaining perhaps an hour sometimes longer the remainder of the day I presume he passed at the rear. He did us good service by letter writing. He lost no nights rest & had good meals regularly. I cannot consider this a very trying life. We expect him back this week. Those who spelt him at the Hospital do not mention him as a patient but nurse. Do let Mrs. Goddard know if you can that Alfred is not forgotten. I often speak of him & think how he would cheer us up if he was present. I wish I knew whether if I came home this fall I could immediately find business. You write that of course" I should choose to be in Norwich. I dont know that, neither do I know what business I would like perhaps not any. I dont know any thing. Mail just arrived - half past 9 PM - borings papers from you & letter from Louis Mitchell with inquiries regarding certain data to enable them to collect Alfred's pay. I had attended to the matter long ago. Shall write him by this mail. You speak of my being "too valuable an officer to be let" out of the service easily. Whenenver I meet any of the superior officers with whom I have come in contact particularly, during the summer I cannot but feel complimented at the manner they receive me tho' I am now only a line officer. I really think many of our officers think I'm the main stay of the Regt they say almost that. I dont think I shall want any -papers- from bundle but if you should come across my white gloves I would like a couple pairs If I need any shirts or draweres I shall try to get them from the San. Com. The Christian Com. brought us (the Regt) some peaches a day or two since. I ate about half a dozen. Once before only have I eaten peaches this year & then Genl Ord gave them to me. I reported then as Div. Off. of Day & one of the toms had sent him 2 bushels of fine ones. Good night -