Custer, George Armstrong (1839-1876) to Libby Custer

Draft Transcript
Sat morn. Feb 13th 1869
Dearest Little Durl
It rained a torrent last night and this morning the streams are so high that the mail carriers are compelled to wait a few hours until they subside. So rapidly does the water in this country rise and fall - I must change my subject - to tell you an incident just occurring, Col. T[homas] B. W[eir] it seems still retains a little of his huffy spirit. I require all officers to ask permission before leaving camp and never refuse any thus far, merely desiring to know who are absent. A verbal request has been all that has been [2] required. But TBW this day to overwhelm me no doubt by his closely drawn official conduct, sent to Mr [Myles] Moylan a few moments ago a regulary prepared written application "to be absent - from camp one hour and a half" as formally worded as an application for one years leave made to the War Dept. Moylan brought the paper in to me a moment ago with a smile on his Countenance at their new peak[?]. I was equal to the occasion however. After reading the formal document I told Moylan, looking at my watch that Col W could have permission [3] to be "absent from camp one hour and a half, commencing at a quarter to 12 and he should report his return at the expiration of his absence." Moylan burst into a laugh, knowing thatTBW little expected to be treated to the same formal dish he had prepared. I told Moylan to make his reply to Weir in writing added that when a person desired to draw fine points with me I could be as pointed as anybody. - So goes the world. Weir is acting like a great baby, that he is. The only injury he can inflict will be upon himself. I care not the value of a farthing whether he chooses to be friendly or otherwise. [4] My recollections of his friendship are not so pleasant that I would risk much to return it. I have been acting the part of a sincere friend of his and would have continued to do so had he not acted to prevent it. He seems to construe every official act of mine which does not meet his approval as a means on my part to retaliate for some past act of his towards me. Whether a guilty conscience troubles him or not I do not know, but he certainly mistakes me if he imagines I cherish any spirit of anomosity towards him for anything in the past. I only [5] know that with me and mine he hopelessly failed to accomplish his ends, and in attempting his purpose injured no one but himself. I do not know but that I might ackknowledge myself indebted to him for an experience that both you and I may be benefited by in the future. It may be that he is sensitive towards me knowing that I know and am fully aware of his failure. Be the cause what it may, I am wholly indifferent as to the further relation existing between he and myself it is for him to decide.
I am as usual in most excellent health, with not an ache or pain to [6] disturb me, nothing except my separation from you to render me discontented or unhappy. Do you Know two persons to whom the following lines are applicable:
to be
Thus they were alone once more; for them ^ /Thus was another Eden; they were never
Weary, unless when separate; the Tree / Cut from its forest root of years - The river/
Dammed from its fountains-The Child from the knee/And breast maternal weaned at once for ever Would wither less than these two torn apart;/ Alas there's no instinct like the heart /
The gentle pressure and the thrilling touch/ The least glance better understood than words
Which still said all and ne'er could say too much/ A language, too, but like to that of birds
Known but to them at least appearing such/ As but to lovers a true senses affords
Sweet playful phrases which would seem absurd/ To those who have ceased to hear such or have ne'er heard/ [7] Mixed in each others arms and heart in heart,/ Why did they not then die?
They had lived too long/ Should an hour come to bid them breath apart;
Years could but bring them cruel things or wrong/ The world was not for them nor the worlds art
For beings passionate as Sapphos song/ Love was born with them in them so intense
It was their very spirit - not a sense/ I know "Somebody" to whom the following apply - and only one.
Round her she made an atmosphere of life/ The very air seemed lighter from her eyes.
They were so soft and beautiful and rife/ With all we can imagine of the skies
And pure as Psyche ere she grew a wife/ Too pure even for the purest human Ties;
Her empowering presence made you feel/ It would not be idolatry to kneel.
I never tire of reading that which I can apply to my letters. Oh how I do hunger and thirst for her. I am almost finished [?] with her [8] once more it seems as if nothing shall ever take me from you again, I could say truly "Entreat me not to leave thee or to return from following after thee, for whither thou goest, I will go, where thou lodgest, I will lodge; thy people shall be my people and thy God my God, the Lord do so to me, and more also, if ought but death part thee and me."
That we may be enabled to enjoy each others society and love, as I newly believe God intends we should, prompts me to endure unmurmuringly our present separation, under the belief that by so doing results will be accomplished which will seem to gratify our wishes. I have become an unbeliever in the old [9] saying that "absence conquers love," surely the author of that remark never knew such love as ours, which is only greatened and strengthened by absence. - Co.l TBW this moment knocked at my tent and upon being bidded enter, taking off his cap and standing attention like an orderly he said "I report my return Genl." faced about and out he went. The whole thing was so sudden and withal so ridiculous I could scarcely refrain from bursting out laughing.
I merely replied - All right - and resumed my writing. Did you ever know such a niny, - perhaps you do not think so and may not take the [?] I do of Col Ws conduct. Do not [?] that I refer to him or his with any desire or intention [10] of [?] your text in your friends. His conduct certainly appears to me as being most absurd undignified and unmanly, not to say ungrateful
My belief is that you will view his conduct in the same light I do - I have not give Tom the recruiting detail yet - nor do I know that I shall, his language and habits are not such as to please me. I shall refuse to extend him any favor in future if he does not mend his course. If I do not detail him, I have not fully decided who it shall be, perhaps Cooke at F[?] S[?]. I shall make the detail soon. I went to the Commissary's yesterday and was weighed. My weight now in slippers is (165) one hundred [11] and sixty five pounds. Just twenty two pounds more than when I left Leavenworth. I know what will become of it all. I remember what my thoughts were when I first heard of Tony's increase. And as you desired to know what they were I will tell you. I certainly did not envy him on the contrary I pitied him and congratulated myself that it was his wife and not mine who was the victim. I have love enough for you but none to spare upon someone who I have never seen and don't want to see, and who after being seen would[bring] chances to me. Give me much more anxiety & troubles than pleasure. You are all I desire [12] let those who must then have children, You are my wife and my baby I ask for no more. I enclose a letter from Nick Bower, what would my letter [?] thick of her boy wrote letters to his parents [?] then he was sorry he had [?] little ones. But he is glad [?] of sorry so that she need not [?] her authority send a letter. You are all I ask for all I desire and all I long for. And I do long for you, every hour of my life. Are you assured Little one. Write me often as you have done. Tell me all the news, as your letters reach me first of all. - Maida is getting in a wearing way. There is fine grey hound dog here to Genl Sheridan. Tell Eliza I will buy her a house a fresh supply of pups to bring up as…