Knox, Henry (1750-1806) to Lucy Knox

[draft]
Camp Whitemarsh 2d December 1777
I have received your two Letters by the post one dated the 13th and the other 20 Novr. - The post will set off in the morning, by him I shall write a Letter - I have in every former Letter express'd the true genuine feelings of my heart in the most tender expressions of which I was capable, nay I [inserted: have] lamented [struck: it] most exceedingly that no language of which I was Master was [inserted: in] any means adequate to the warmth of my affection. I have in every letter which I have written to you lamented with the utmost sincerity the cause of my being absent so long from You. I have counted the tedious days and hours since I was with you with a [regret] that hardly very hardly squar'd with the profession of arms I have reckon'd the probable movements that must revolve with an anxiety that had it have been fully known to those around me might have been attributed to a very different motive (to a wish to be distant from Danger) - In short my Lucy no man on earth seperated from all that he holds Dear on earth has ever suffer'd more than I have suffer'd in being absent from you whom I hold dearer than every other object [2] I have told you this so often and with all the sincerity [struck: of wh] which God ever infus'd into the human heart - I am unhappy at the Contents of your Letter and am very sorry to say that unhappiness will [illegible] [strikeout] me until heaven shall bless me with your society - to answer the Letters would be improper least it might miscarry. I shall therefore keep the Letters to shew them & have an explanation from you - This truth you may rely upon & I dare call the Supreme omniscient [strikeout] Judge to witness. That there never was a purer and more [illegible] affection than what I profess for you, and that I carry this delicacy of affection so far as to be [struck: but] very indifferent indeed to all the rest of your sex - even to a degree not justifiable by good manners - I wish you my dearest Love to reflect seriously on what I have written and beleive it as seriously as part of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. But however much you have pain'd me I [strikeout] should be extremely unhappy to give you the least pain, but in one moment of inadvertence you have written which will long be the source of unhappiness to me.
[struck: Matters] The situation of our army on account of Cloathing is such as to render a Winters Campaign impossible without we have a mind to put an end to the War by starving all the soldiers.
I therefore expect to be able [3] to set out for Congress when the army goes into Winter Quarters - after doing the business of [inserted: my] department [with] them I shall set out for Boston - and do expect to be there in one month - or nearly so from this day - Yes my Lucy I love, I adore you far infinitely more far than any other mortal but I confess that my chagrin is exceedingly great and that my happiness in seeing you will be Allay'd were I to beleive that you lov'd me less than I have ever flatter'd myself You have done - Gods that she in whom my soul is completely and entirely absorb'd should ever doubt of my affection - the thought almost drives me to desperation -
You have often spoken of Mrs Greene and urg'd it with much warmth that I wish'd to conceal her situation from you - a situation which you almost seem'd to envy - Mrs Greene in a very unpleasant season of the Year with much difficulty, and in an ill state of health [struck: reacth'd] reach'd Mr Lotts about 7 Miles nearer to Boston than Morris Town - Genl Greene saw her there and was with her for three days - at which time the army march'd southward and he has never seen her since nor has he been with her one moment - Mr [Lotts] family is [4] undoubtedly an amiable family but he is too much of a Gentleman to take any Compensation from Genl Greene for Mrs Greene's being there for the servants and horses [inserted: at one hundred & fifty miles distant from [illegible] - I think the delicacy of my Lucy's mind would be much wounded by being in such a situation, I am certain mine would be - and I think my friend is in the same situation of mind - however that may be I am nearly determin'd to have my Lucy in some situation near me if I shall [struck: make] serve another Campaign - her unhappiness is so great that I am determin'd to sacrifice every inferior consideration to remove it even if She like Mrs [Reidsal] should be taken prisoner - this and other arrangements will probably be the Consequence of my being with You. Continue to love me and [illegible] if any part of it should have depreciated (which God in mercy to us both, forbid) endeavor to rekindle the flame of sacred Love and friendship in your bosom - I own I am chagrin'd beyond measure - and therefore hope my friend Harry will have no [illegible] in his head about our having taken [illegible] and open this Letter - God bless You and the dear pledge of our Love - I am your truly affectionate and faithful H Knox -
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I have not written to Harry supposing him to have set out for Camp, as he wrote to Col Cobb and Lt Col [illegible] he should - the detatchment for the Boston regts are the best cloathed men in Camp
[docket]
H.K. to Mrs K