Knox, Henry (1750-1806) to Lucy Knox

[Draft]
Montpelier Saturday 8th May 1802
Yours of the 25th of April I received by the post, and yours of the 30th ultimo and the 1st of May, I received by Kelleran who arrived in a short passage. Lucys indisposition was a perfect reason for your not coming with Kelleran for God who knows all things knows how well I love her. But my mortification was inexpressible. The Morning was fine the Wind fair and mmy hopes high. Twice before it was fair light had I opened the shutter and chid the lingering day. Malcom first appeared and was near the wharf before Kelleran appeared. I was now certain - order the barge - and dinner to be in readiness on your arrival a pair of partridges - a fine salmon - and an abundant dish of sweet breads. I [strikeout] repaired to the margin of the river and hailed Malcom. Is that Kelleran - Yes sir - Mrs Knox and my family on bound? No sir - Then I experienced the pangs of disappointment - chagrin mined with apprehension Kelleran had to beat up and did not arrive in two hours after, with your letter.
I have repeatedly read your letter and readily say that the sentiments contained therein are worthy of yourself and are much very much reciprocated from my soul. Our mutual affection is the most valued object of my existence - My children the [2] next And yet your leaving me two months before I was ready to accompany you, and staying one month after me in Boston, and then my leaving you here immediately after [struck: my] [inserted: yr] arrival to attend the Court and give the world but a scurvy idea of ardor of our attachment, Nay it is possible of the cruel easterly winds should prevail when Kelleran shall be ready to leave Boston, that I shall be compelled to this even before your arrival. The legislature assembles the 26th Kelleran will make a quick hop if he sails tomorrow to be back by [strikeout] the Sunday following [strikeout] [inserted: which will be the] certainly ought to be from hence on the 20th or 21st [at far most] - So you perceive that the operation of our meeting here will be critical.
The question now is whether the object to which you allude is [inserted: to] desirable as to be a counterbalance to the sacrifices of the head & the pecuniary sacrifices which must be made to obtain it or rather the chance [struck: of it] or probability of it. I presume however it highly probable not only from what I understood when in Boston, but from the general opinion in this part of the Country. Our Town meeting was on Monday last when the meeting was full and the choice unanimously fell on me - On the balancing pros and cons and your opinion being so deciding in favor of the measure I shall [3] decide in favor of attempting it
Now for money that germ of discontent and evil. I know not precisely the sum that Kellerans cargo will nett - But I presume upwards of 300 Dollars - which sum he will I hope deliver to you and that you will pay Mrs Carter - The 50 dollars I left you and the 126, 88 which Kelleran gave you will I hope sincerely pay all arrears, family and personal. If any more than three hundred [inserted: or the amount of the Cargo] should be wanting, to pay Mrs Carter, I shal endevor that he furnish it out of his freight
Henry had orders for 40000 of boards for Malcom. I know that Malcoms people let apart of them go adrift, so that I suppose that Henry did not receive more than 30000 ft - probably about 230 or 40 dollars He did not pay Malcom the freight - but put an order for thirty feet more. of these 30000 feet together with the former Cargo, Malcolm demands would be for 20,000 feet - and Henrys proposition - one hundred dollars at most, but probably only 80 Dollars - [struck: They] No more boards can be had from the Mills at present - A part of the ten thousand which went a drift have been secured and to an be answerable to Malcolm in part for the former [4] freight - after that is paid I shall be answerable to Henry for as much as nett proceeds of the 60 thousand feet of boards which I gave him - gave him as a foundation whereon to build a fortune, and which [struck sum he] has probably [inserted: been] sacrificed in a manner that he would not unfold - the business requires no comment and affords no hope - as to the payment of his debts with it - [strikeout] that [strikeout] admits of doubts - But most certainly you can afford him nothing out of the sums herein allotted
The young woman who us here by name Nabby Sterling cooks better than tolerably well and she has a sister [struck: who] who she says [strikeout] would like to come. As to Mary - you know her best but perhaps you may do without her.
You flatter me highly by the amiable Mrs Bowers good opinion. If not gone present my respects - to her Mrs [Trazen] and Mr Carter - secure a good room for me and if not there before the day - there would be no expectation - But the object must nit be blown
My love to my children -
Your ever affectionate husband
H Knox
Mrs Knox